This is a courtesy call...

Greeting is a serious business here in Nigeria, and people put a lot more energy into it than we do at home. One of the more interesting methods of greeting is by telephone because often people just call to say hello. Just to say hello.
So after a couple of minutes greeting and catching up, I find myself waiting for the person to get to the point of why they rang, and then they say goodbye! The point of the call was the greeting. These calls come from people as diverse as my colleagues, my bank manager, the chap on room service!!! There’s a good chance our lives are too busy when we cannot understand why people have called just to say hello.

Nigeria counts...

Its census week here in Nigeria. Considering that there are at least 120 million people to be counted, it’s a pretty massive undertaking. The exercise lasts from Tues – Sat, and on Fri & Sat we cannot leave our homes between 8am and 4pm. Unlike at home, the census isn’t a matter of distributing forms and collecting them on a specific date. The literacy levels here require that enumerators complete the forms with the family, and the informal nature of much of the accommodation makes the exercise far from straightforward. Despite the government closing the schools and most public offices, a huge proportion of the population live from day to day and cannot forego a day’s work without going hungry. So many people simply can’t stay at home to be counted.
On a political front, the census doesn’t include questions on religion or ethnicity – there is a precarious balance here between north and south, Muslim and Christian, and in the run-up to an election it is not wise to disturb the scales. It will be a huge achievement if the census exercise succeeds.

Water sports...

Bucket showers – where to start?!? They are about as glamorous as they sound. Water doesn’t run here 24/7, although I have water most of the time making me luckier than many. Some rural volunteers have to draw water from a well.
However, in the absence of a shower, I rely on my trusty bucket and scoop (filled the night before because sometimes there’s just no water in the morning).
On the other hand, a recently-discovered bonus is that as the weather gets hotter so too does the water. No hot and cold taps here, just proper original solar power!!

Chicken licken...

Oh, and finally I have to share a great ad with ye – the solar eclipse should be clearly visible in Nigeria next week. Local tv have been reassuring people that it is "a wonderful expression of nature" and "not an evil occurrence, not the end of the world, don’t panic"…

Television ettiquette...

The role of the televison is as central to Nigerian life as it is to home, I think. The only difference is that here tvs aren't just a leisure activity. They sit in most offices offering a distracting commentary on one subject while you try to hold meetings/discussions on another. For instance, when we were introduced to a local king once our brief biographies were shouted over a premiership football match. I know we're an interesting bunch, but it's hard to compete with the glorious game...
On the other hand, on returning from holidays recently I felt genuinely welcome because my colleagues turned down the telly to hear of my adventures. But I was equally aware that my time was up when the sound began to creep up again!

Happy St Patricks Day...

Ok, here's a puzzle for the Irish folks out there - did you know that Kimberly biscuits (round gingery ones with squishy marshmallow) are only to be found in Ireland? That the rest of the world is without them? Astonishing, isn't it!
Have limited reading material here so I get very excited by the books I do have. "Nice cup of tea and a sit down" is an entertaining read.
So happy Paddy's Day everyone, aren't we blessed!

All-day sauna...

It's really very hot here at the moment - touching 40 degress every day. Even the Nigerians are suffering! Siesta time has been extended appropriately and it took me a full 10 mins to wake the guy at the post office yesterday. He looked at me like I was crazy to spend all that energy shouting at him!!

Nil aon tintean...

My accommodation saga continues! And my confidence in this reaching a successful conclusion is beginning to wane. Next week I will be living in a hotel for 5 months, and the assurances that the renovations will be complete in 2 weeks are less than convincing. Am considering contacting Habitat for Humanity...

A little tension...

Things have been a little more tense in Nigeria over the past week – its not dangerous or anything, but the upcoming elections are a challenging time for this on-again-off-again democracy. The current political administration are trying to amend the constitution to prolong their stay in office (I would say 'campaigning to change the constitution' but the public outcry is being studiously ignored).
Democracy is a funny concept here in that there’s a general consensus that the presidency should be rotated between the North and South, and voting patterns seem to reflect this. So tension between the different ethnic/religious groups increases when this consensus isn’t respected. But, as a Nigerian friend observed, they have ‘selections’ here rather than ‘elections’, so the people don’t always get who they voted for. Hence the tension…

A little embarrassment...

Like everything else in this great country there are interesting side-effects to the recent upheaval. For instance, how the oil crisis in the south has led to me spending more time standing (practically) in the fridge (lower oil production means more blackouts means less AC means more refrigerated Aine – its bloody hot here at the moment...)
The demonstrations against the cartoon depictions of The Prophet Muhammed have also led to one of my more embarrassing moments this week. On Monday I sagely asked a colleague to let me know if there was ever any imminent danger – he turned up later that afternoon with a newspaper article about a riot in Dublin. Jeeeez…

A little passion...

The passion felt by the demonstrators against the cartoon depictions of The Prophet Muhammed is probably difficult to understand from a distance, but the religious devotion (of all religions) in Nigeria is immense. Christians and Muslims involve their religion in almost every aspect of their lives. From their own names (Godswill, Blessing, Patience) to the names of their businesses (Godspower hair and beauty parlour, Divine Blessing computer supply, On Gods path hotel); soap opera plots centre on sinners finding redemption; on New Years Eve the church beside the bar we were in out-sung us on several occasions. So religion is central to the lives of most Nigerians.

Here are some of the more unusual ways:
1… A new trend has emerged linking Christian churches and commerce. Many (Lagos) pastors have taken to encouraging their flock to find riches in this world as well as the next. Congregations attend sermons with pen and paper in hand; business seminars precede mass…
2… The Hisbah Guard are a supplementary police force in Kano State. They are employed to ensure Shari’a Law is adhered to (Islamic law governs all aspects of civil life as well as religious life). Most recently the Hisbah have been enforcing a law which prevents women from taking okadas in Kano State
3… A German evangelist spent a week in Abuja recently and had crowds of thousands gather each evening for his sermons. Due to claims that he resurrected a fellow speaker from the dead some years back, several families are said to have turned up with recently deceased relatives in tow. Unfortunately the miracle was not repeated (and the whole thing left a bad smell … boom boom)

A recent article in the paper contains an interesting view on the context of the protests, comparing them to the protests against Salman Rushdie’s “Satanic Verses” in the 80s:

Danish cartoons: another clash of civilisations? By Dr Tajudeen Abdulraheem
The protests about Salman Rushdie’s book had less to do with the offence than the context. This was England in the 1980s painfully adjusting to the conservative counter revolution of Margaret Thatcher in which poor people in general, but ethnic and racial minorities in particular, felt marginalised and vulnerable. British Muslims, especially second or more generation Asians felt more vulnerable than others. A community under attack from socio-economic and political changes finally found that its religious faith also not considered sacred…Do we see any parallels with the current protests…
Like British Muslims their brethren and sisters in Denmark, despite pretensions to the contrary of liberalism in countries like Denmark, feel left out and in recent years under right-wing attack due to the rightward shift in politics in the Nordic and Scandinavian countries. Xenophobia is on the rise (formalising itself in parliament and government) as in many other European countries…

A proper emergency...

That stuff aside, had a serious issue to deal with a few weeks back. Needed some hair dye and couldn’t find any brown shades here. Urgent texts and emails home ensued and the DHL man turned up last week (extravagant I know, but I’m a hell of a lot greyer with brown hair than with blonde so it was clearly an emergency) Anyway the DHL man was greeted with as much reverence as any person whoever entered our compound! In another wonderful development Christmas arrived in March (in a parcel that Customs had detained without charge). Am in the happy position of becoming known as the vso with all the mail! My cubby hole is always full of letters, cards, sudukos, limerick leaders, books, kangaroos (!) etc Thanks a mil folks – for the post and the emails, its great to hear from ye!